Kiss
Puke
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
