No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
