I have demons in me.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
