the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize