We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
