I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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