i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
