I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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