Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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