I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
