I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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