how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
