she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
