Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
