I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
ttyl tear gas
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
