okay pat passed out under dana's car
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you inspire me to be a worse person
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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