you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have post one night stand depression
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