Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
