just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
