it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
