I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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