Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Panties = found
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
