I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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