I look better un-naked...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
