things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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