he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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