I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
