ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Piatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
