You smell like stripper and shame
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
