I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize