You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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