im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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