Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
