so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
