I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
