yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
