i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
