every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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