I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
