I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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