and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
