where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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