Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize