i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
