I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
