Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
