Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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