My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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