is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
