handjob tips. give me some.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Two words: nipple clamps
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