Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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