Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
