Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize