Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I've blown a few things in my day
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
