fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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