Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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