You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
