just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
