Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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