I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
