Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize