u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
