So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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