Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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